Tales of a screenwriter with no time to write

Slowly, Slowly.....

2009-10-08T08:14:00.001+01:00

Making the effort to get back into blogging after a friend noted that I've been absent from the net for quite a while.

I just have to come up with something to say :)

Chris

Short film script finished

2009-03-01T16:21:00.002Z

I've finished a script for a short film.

I got the idea last night and rattled it off this afternoon. It's a drama, about 90 seconds long and set in a hospital. There are two scenes, one in a hospital corridor, and another in a private treatment room. Three characters in total.

When I started writing it I intended it to be a comedy, not a drama, but just wrote it as it came out of my head. I could easily tweak it into a comedy, and possibly even making it shorter in the process, but I'm happy with it as it is.

Is there a producer out there with cash and access to a hospital that wants to make it? If so then drop me a line (my Nana always told me "If you don't ask you won't get").

Later

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

The Story Engine

2009-02-28T14:26:00.004Z

I never told you I was going, but I'm back from The Story Engine (formally known as the Northern Screenwriters Conference).

I can report that I had a really good time and got a lot out of it (including a new found drive to get on with it). If you get a chance to go to the next one I would recommend it.

As well as meeting Sir Jason Arnopp and The Right Honourable James Moran in the flesh, I also met The Lady Lara Greenway, Commander David Lemon and Dean Lines Esquire.

I talked away to lots of other people but God forgot to give me the part of the brain that is essential for remembering names (sorry).

Apart from drinking too much on Thursday night, I came away with some good ideas, including something for TV (first time ever), as well as an insight into the world of agents. Amanda Davis made it clear that they are actually human - not that I didn't already know that, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Anyway, enough of this - I've got a script to finish (by April 1st).

Later

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

The Rom-Com Bandwagon

2009-02-10T09:08:00.002Z

I have no idea why I care about this so much, but it's the one thing in the film world that winds me up:

Why does just about everything involving a man and a woman meeting, getting together (usually) falling out, and then getting back together, get the label "Rom-Com" slapped on it?

ARRRGGHHHH!

Don't get me wrong, I like a good romantic comedy, but it's so hard to find one nowadays because everything is pushed into that genre using a bulldozer. Case in point:

No Reservations (IMDB Link)

I read the box. It's a rom-com. I can see how the set-up could be funny, so I decide to give it a go. BUT NO! IT ISN'T A ROM-COM!!!!!

There is one, just one, slightly funny moment, but that's all the comedy there is (IMHO). As a rom-com it fails miserably. You won't convince me otherwise, and I was disappointed.

Drama. What ever happened to drama? It seems you only get dramas nowadays if someone wants to win a film award. To me, no reservations was a good old romantic drama, and on that level it works. So why don't they call it what it is instead of slapping rom-com all over it?

I'll tell you why: It's all about the money! People are more likely to pay to see a rom-com rather than a romantic drama, so they mis-label it to get the cash flowing. What is happening as a result is the genre is getting diluted, and people walk away thinking a good film is actually crap because it wasn't what they expected.

For the love of God, the genre, or simply my sanity: Stop calling everything a Rom-Com! Have the guts to call it exactly what it.

Rant over. Carry on.

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Supermarket Checkouts

2009-02-04T18:08:00.003Z

I think I'm turning a bit grumpy in my old age.

If there's one thing that really, really, *really* gets on my tits (pardon the expression), it's kids offering to pack your shopping at the checkout.

Of late they don't even seem to offer they just start packing and I have to stop them, because they'll just get it wrong and smash my eggs or squash my bread. I told the last little girl who tried that it was okay and I'd manage. I smiled, was polite and spoke in a calm voice, but by the look on her face you would have thought I had told her I'd just blended her hamster.

I know it's usually for a good cause but I'd just prefer them to leave their collection bucket and clear off. And a bucket! how much do they expect us to give?!?!

*And relax*

Solution:

2009-01-28T16:01:00.004Z

Here's my first quick attempt at the solution to my previous post (please forgive the formatting). Feel free to offer advice:

INT. RADFORD'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS

              CLAIRE
         Hello, I'm Claire Radford, how are you?

She stops, extending her hand over the sofa.

Jason smiles and accepts her greeting.

              JASON
         Jason, Jason Brent. You caught me off guard for
         a moment there.

              CLAIRE
         I apologise if my father's keeping
         you waiting Jason. Have you travelled far?

              JASON
         Er, no, not at all. It's a sunny
         day, I put the top down and enjoyed the drive over here.

              CLAIRE
         Wonderful. My father shouldn't be too
         much longer, so if you don't mind I
         have some things to do before lunch.

              JASON
         No problem.

Claire turns and walks to the door.

She makes it half way.

              JASON
         Wait.

She turns.

              CLAIRE
         Yes?

              JASON
         Err, well I doubt this meeting will last
         too long, and like I said it's a nice day,
         so I know this nice little restaurant nearby
         with a quiet balcony. We could have some
         lunch and enjoy the fresh air.

She takes a curious step forward.

              CLAIRE
         But you don't know me.

Jason confidently smiles and raises his hand towards the window.

              JASON
         And look, what a nice day to rectify that.

Claire turns and again heads for the door.

She glances over her shoulder and smiles.

              CLAIRE
         Perhaps.

Writing Physical Attraction

2009-01-28T14:42:00.004Z

How do you write one person being attracted to another?

One way could be:

Bill's eyes open wide as he beholds her natural beauty.

To me that sounds like it's leaning a bit towards Mills and Boon, and this is a screenplay, not a novel. Another way is:

Bill is clearly attracted to her.

But I've seen so many readers warn against writing 'clearly'. I can't do the 'Bill blushes', or make bill babble is words nervously as he isn't that type of character, but I must make it clear that Bill is attracted to 'her'.

I may go with the my first example for now, but please comment, or point me at other articles that discuss this.

Thanks in advance

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

A complaint letter Mosh would be proud of

2009-01-27T15:16:00.003Z

My friend Iain, aka Mosh writes a mean complaint letter. I happen to think he is rather good at it, but this guy (click here) has just raised the bar.

Enjoy

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Almost guilty

2009-01-27T11:20:00.002Z

They say never judge a book by its cover.

I've never heard anyone say never judge a film by its title, but often people do. In fact my wife does it all the time and it bugs me.

Anyway, I hold my hands up and say I was almost guilty of the same crime.

I had a chance to watch a film called 'The Astronaut Farmer'. "What a silly title" I thought. Probably some comedy about some guy trying to grow stuff on the moon.

Then I looked it up on the internet and found it wasn't such a film. I decided to watch it and really, really enjoyed it.

I thought the ending was rushed and a bit, and I guess the director did too as they tried to fill things in during the credits, but still could have been done better, however as a 'middle of the road' film I can't find much else wrong with it.

8 out of 10.

Later

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

When is less not enough?

2009-01-26T13:33:00.002Z

Okay, we all know less is more when describing scenes, but I fear I may be obsessing a little about it.

Case in point is the following:

Jason stands in an immaculate hotel room, lit only by the sunlight shining through a narrow gap in the curtains.

Is that fine? I could thin it down further:

Jason stands in an immaculate hotel room.

Sunlight shines through a narrow gap in the curtains.

But is this too far? The fact that sunlight is the only light source in the room isn't important, so I leave it out and break the line. I just feel that what is left is a little clinical, and I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Any tips?

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Space Virus Attacks

2009-01-26T10:03:00.003Z

I have admitted defeat in my battle with the evil space virus that has been trying to break through my defences for the past week, and called in sick. The work will just have to pile up.

This could be an opportunity to write but I'm not sure I'm up to it. Maybe a page or two this afternoon from my notes and index cards. I have a deadline of the first of April to finish this draft, so I've got plenty of time.

Later

*cough* *sneeze* *urrrrrghhhhhhhh*

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Modern Times

2009-01-25T11:26:00.000Z

I am now bringing myself up to date by blogging from my mobile.

I vow never to do anything when I'm old like call my children to come round and set the clock on my new whatsit in the livingroom.

Screenplay Request

2009-01-22T12:37:00.001Z

Hi,

Can anyone send me the screenplay for My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

I've looked in all the usual places (that I am aware of) online and can't seem to find it.

Thanks in advance

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

About that act one pile

2008-12-23T11:06:00.002Z

I often wonder how good my screenwriting is.

It's reassuring when I look back at random scripts in my act one pile, because at least I can say: 'It's better than it was back then!'

Frankly, some attempts are earth-shatteringly awful.

Case in point is some type of underwater epic. Scene descriptions that are fit for a novel and enough 'we see' to keep the world stocked up forever *shudder*.

Help me, I need irony!

2008-12-21T19:14:00.006Z

Okay, forget the "dark conflict driven" screenplay I talked about in my last post. Before I could start I stumbled across and old script in my rather large 'act one pile' (we all have those right?).

Anyway, the short version is I've taken it into the midpoint of act two and *BLAM!!!* writers block.

Now the help part:

I need as many ironies, or ironic situations as you can come up with for a hit man. Anything, no matter how absurd.

Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top.

Thanks in advance

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

New Screenplay

2008-12-10T12:07:00.003Z

I think I'll change tack with my next screenplay and write a dark conflict (of the mind) driven screenplay that I wrote a basic outline for 18 months ago.

It shows how a career long soldier's view of war changes over the years, and how that impacts a hostile situation he is thrown into. It may not sound very exciting, but if I can pull off on paper what I've got running around my head, it should be really good.

As usual, time will tell.

'Casualty of War' is the current title.

Where's the sofa

2008-12-09T08:58:00.002Z

I have finally bitten the bullet and sent Only in Dreams off for review.

I am not expecting good news, so you will find me cowering behind the sofa until some time next week.

Definition

2008-12-05T09:06:00.001Z

By reading this you are taking the role of my virtual shrink.

I think I lack definition.

Who am I and what do I do?

If you go by my job title I'm a Software Engineer.... no, Software Development Team Manager (got a promotion; w00t!), but that isn't what I mean.

I could say; husband, father, carer, lover.... but I don't go in for that romantic crap. I want to be defined as something beyond my day job and family (and let me get this in up front before people complain; I adore my family), but I want to be defined as something else. If it's going to be my job title, I want a different job.

What do I do, what have I done, or at least had a go at doing?

- I used to play the guitar (perhaps that's a matter of opinion)
- I've written songs
- I'm constantly trying to learn French
- I've raced sailing boats
- I've played volleyball and hockey for my university
- Written screenplays
- Started to write books (never finished one though)
- DIY (does that count?)
- Tinkered with cars (just put a written off car back on the road)
- I blog (on and off)
- I now tweet
- And last night looked into the process of making enhanced podcasts
- plus lots I've probably forgotten

With the exception of one or two on that list you can conclude the theme is 'creativity with a pinch of competitiveness'. I will override that conclusion slightly (because I know me) and say "Creativity with the desire to achieve".

Given the above list can I define myself as a creative person? I really don't know.

Anyway, if you are still reading this, I thank you for putting up with my raving nothingness. In years to come, perhaps this will manifest itself as a mid life crisis. As you may have guessed, I'm in a bit of a funny place at the moment, and this may be nothing more than frustration at myself for not putting enough effort into writing. After all, that is what I want to do for a living (alongside other things).

words of encouragement are welcome but not expected.

I promise the next post will be a lot more light hearted.

Regards

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Where on google am I?

2008-12-02T18:43:00.002Z

I'm drawn to post today for a strange, nay, probably sad reason.

I typed my name into google to see if I came up. The first reference to my name was around result 40, and that was my linkedin profile. 40! I must have put enough random mess on the interwebnet to be worth a better position that that.

So I restrict the results to searching the UK only. Even worse (in fact I gave up looking around rank 150)! I found that a bit strange as I live in the UK, but I suppose the world of the Internet has no borders.

Search for ukscriptwriter and I'm all over the place, but I have a name goddammit! My name is Chris Parr, and do you know what? There are about 3 other Chris Parrs' that have made it in the world of screenwriting! Is that somehow ironic, or just a slap in the face?

I am now on a mission to get me up the google rankings, but I have no idea how. I've changed my blogger profile from Chris (ukscriptwriter), to Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter), and I'm hoping writing "Chris Parr" enough in this post will help ("Chris Parr", "Chris Parr", "Chris Parr", "Chris Parr"), but I doubt it.

I have a vague recollection that link text will help, so I would be grateful if you could all create a link in a blog post, or on your web page to this one using the following snippet:

<a href="http://ukscriptwriter.blogspot.com/">Chris Parr</a>

Let google index away and pull me up the rankings.

Any other suggestions are welcome.

Help me people!

Regards

CHRIS PARR

Where's the light switch

2008-11-26T21:23:00.002Z

I thought I'd stop by here to see if I can remember what it looks like.

I'm in one of those places where I haven't written for a very long time, but I'm thinking about doing so more and more each day.

I wonder if I'll actually manage to put finger to keyboard with my screenwriting software open.

Time will tell :)

That good old screenwriting mindset

2008-04-03T07:49:00.001+01:00

I was thinking about sitting down to continue with my script frenzy screenplay, and I started getting into that screenwriting mindset that I'm sure most are familiar with:

"I need to churn out a few more pages. Hmmm, first I think I'll reorganise my CD collection for the third time today, but this time I'll make sure all the CDs are orientated correctly inside the case."

I'd written enough pages to on the first day to cover the day's progress, so I played Guitar Hero all evening with a big grin on my face. I'd taken it up to the next level and for 20 minutes I couldn't play anything, but after a bit of practice, I still rock!

There is a down side to all of this; I was tempted to go onto iTunes and download seventies rock music (on dear!).

I'll have to be more disciplined tonight and churn out my 3.33 pages :)

Later

C

And they're off!

2008-04-01T08:09:00.003+01:00

As well as today (or is it just this morning) being April fools day, it is also the first day of Script Frenzy 2008.

That means I have 30 days to write a 100 page script. I'm not sure why the rules say 100 pages, but as a result that translates to 3.33 pages a day for the next 30 days. I have a rather unpolished outline to work from, which isn't ideal, but it's all I have at the moment.

Currently I'm sitting on the train to london, so with the journey down there this morning, and the trip back this evening, I should be able to get quite a head start.

Otherwise, all the above is an April fools joke :)

Later

C

I Rock!

2008-03-31T08:31:00.001+01:00

It's true. The Nintendo Wii told me so.

I watched an episode of South Park the other week, where they were playing this game called Guitar Hero. I never thought anything of it until in town the other day when I was in a shop selling it. I read the box and it looked like it may be fun. It was bonus month at work (not a big one but better than a kick up the arse), so I bought it.

Now, I'm 33 - no scratch that, 34 (there proof I'm getting old), but prancing around the room attempting to play a pathetic plastic guitar type thing, made me feel like a kid again.

I highly recommend it :)

Regards

Chris

Script Frenzy 2008

2008-03-29T15:04:00.005Z

Almost too late I've found out about Script Frenzy when reading Lianne's blog.

I don't usually have the time for things like this, but this time I thought "Why not?"

Now, I don't have an outline ready, and I feel using one of the drafts I have on the go would be cheating, so I've got two days to come up with one. I have no idea if I'll be able to finish, but I only have to manage 3.333 (recurring) pages a night.

Three and a third pages a night doesn't sound much, but when you're dragging a script kicking an screaming through the doldrums of act two, it can be as painful as pulling your own teeth with a pair of rusty pliers and no anesthetic.

Is anyone else out there having a go?

Chris

Earth Hour

2008-03-29T07:01:00.005Z

So I turned on my Macbook this morning to take a trip around the good old interwebnet, and Firefox informed me it was installing a new version and would start in a moment or two.

It did.

google.co.uk came up (I've got it set as my home page), and I was presented with a negative version of the search engine (white text on black).

"Oh Bugger!" I thought. Firefox has screwed up. Then I realised I was being a bit slow (I'm ill and it was 06:30), and Google had put it that way for a reason. On closer inspection I found the following link:

Earth Hour

Now I know tree hugging has become a bit 'main stream' nowadays, and stuff like this may be considered a little 'passé' by some, but I think it's a good idea.

If you can't be bothered to follow the link, the idea is to turn off all the lights in your house between 20:00 and 21:00 tonight in a collective bid to save energy (doesn't matter about time zones, just flick the switches wherever you are when the clock ticks 8).

Come on, join in. Don't worry about the dark, the light from your 57 inch LCD TV should provide more than enough illumination ;)

Later

C

Why do we do it?

2008-03-28T09:48:00.000Z

When I say 'it' I mean write.

I can't speak for you, but for me it's a desire to get lost in a world that isn't reality, or at least my reality. It's a desire to create what I don't have, to live out those 'what if' moments. Maybe that's why very few of my ideas exist in the realm of science fiction or horror. They are all situations that could happen to the every day Joe when he walks out of his front door tomorrow morning. I want to write those stories that, when the credits start to roll, leave you with that 'nice' feeling inside. The feeling where the credits snap you back into the real world, the corner of your mouth curls up and you feel pleasantly warm and fuzzy inside. You're sad that your brief journey into another existence is over, but it was worth it.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I am very happy with the life I have. I wouldn't change a bit of it. Well, perhaps a bit more money in the bank, but who would say no to that (probably some rich person)?

When I ask myself if I write for the right reasons, I know I do. I often stumble across posts on writing forums where naïve newbies want to sell their killer idea for six figures. Those are the wrong reasons. If all you are writing for is the money then I'd say there are easier ways to earn the stuff. Oh I'm sure once in a while someone will fluke it and make it big, but that's the exception rather than the rule.

Maybe one day the credits will roll on a film I have written and someone will smile, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Or maybe not. Who knows?

I'm just happy writing as a hobby. If one day I experience the side effect of a sale, then so be it ;)

I'm sure I'll write another pointless post soon.

Later

C

Be Kind Rewind? Be Kind PRESS STOP!

2008-03-06T13:35:00.003Z

I had several options at the cinema the other night, but the only one that would get me back to the hotel in time for the football was 'Be Kind Rewind'.

I read a couple of reviews that painted it in a good light, so I thought I'd go and see it. After the film I started wondering if I had found the ONLY two reviews in existence that painted it in a good light, because what I saw was dull, dull, dull. I don't even recall laughing once.

What they have taken is an interesting idea, but it is quite clear that the execution of it was way off the mark. I can imagine the pitch, the meetings where ideas flew back and forth, and how everyone thought it couldn't fail, but when the script came along the project should have been taken out to the shed and put down without hesitation. The end product just didn't live up to what could have been.

I think the director realised this as I'm quite sure he tried to get a little 'arty' (and failed miserably), by doing some sort of silent movie thing towards the end. Or maybe I'm just not getting it. Some people may like it for bringing back a little nostalgia when they recall parts of the movie the characters are re-shooting, but nostalgia isn't enough to carry a movie (although I'm sure people will quote examples).

It was just silly in places: The whole neighbourhood liking these crappy remakes and then being taken in saying they have to buy this little chip to view them as a DVD (or whatever excuse they used)? Come on! That just isn't plausible.

2 stars out of 10 for me (it would be too harsh to give only one as I managed to stay awake).

Later

C

The Big ?????

2008-03-04T09:29:00.006Z

So, if New York is 'The Big Apple', is London 'The Big Avacado'?

Does London even have a nick-name?

Anyway, that's where I'm off to as I type this, sharing a very slow (but free), wifi connection with about (I'm guessing) 100 other people on the train. Major project slippage to deal with today, people to interview in order to save the project tomorrow.

I'm staying in the Holiday Inn Express on Finchley Road. It's clean and tidy, but very basic. I don't mind that at all, however in the summer it seems to become a youth hostel with teenagers keeping you awake until the eraly hours of the morning (hey, I'm getting older - deal with it!). We have an order at work that you must try to get the cheapest hotel. This on is number one on the list at £85 per night. I'm always happy during summer when it is full and I get to stay at the Marriott.

Anyway, on my last trip I found out that you get loads more sushi for your money if you get take out from Yo! Sushi, rather than eating in, so I may load up and retreat to my hotel room and do some writing. Projects that are kind of avtice at the moment (I'll update the progress bars later):

1) An untitled fiction book that I'm writing for my daughter (yes, I'm branching out).

2) The next draft of Only in Dreams.

Anyway, I'd better answer some emails as I guess I am supposed to be working, but before I do, and for no aparent reason, I'll leave you with this question:

Why?

Answers on a postcard.

Later

Chris

The Big ?????

2008-03-04T09:29:00.001Z

So, if Ney York is 'The Big Apple', is London 'The Big

I'm hard I am!

2008-02-27T12:41:00.002Z

Click on the image above and have a go yourself.

What is it that really makes a good film?

2008-02-23T22:04:00.004Z

I ask the question because I have just finished watching a film I really enjoyed.

You know the type. The credits roll any it's not that you're sat there gob smacked at the twist you didn't see coming, or blown away by the big budget CGI. No, you're just sat there happy with that nice fuzzy warm feeling inside. The feeling that you get when the rest of the world has been shut out for an hour or two and you 'get' the ending.

The case in point is Say Anything. Now I remember this film fondly. I was entering that phase in life and there was this actress in the film (for the sake of this story we'll call her Ione Sky), and just let me rewind my mind some 18 years (crikey, I'm getting old) and say; Fwwwwoooorrrrrrrrr! Suffice to say I watched the film a lot and remember it foldly.

Fast forward 18 years and I watch the film with a big smile on my face. I watch the part where Lloyd Dobler sands there in the park after being dumped by his girlfriend, holding his ghetto blaster (yes this film is old school) above his head playing 'their' song at full volume so she can hear it in her bedroom, and think "wow, no one can ever write that again without getting the label 'copy cat'".

I spot great writing everywhere right up to the final second there the fasten seatbelt light goes out with a 'bing!' and we are told everything will be okay.

The thing is, I turn to my wife and she says "well I suppose it was okay!"

What!

Just Okay!

Burn her!

But does she have a point?

Do I only like the film because I simply remember having a crush on Ione Sky when I was 16?

Someone out there please back me up and say this is actually a good film showing off some good writing.

Please, I beg you!

Later

Chris

BOO!

2008-02-19T21:40:00.002Z

Cough, splutter… Bloody hell, it’s dusty in here and the Dyson’s broken. I’ll just have to take a good old fashioned duster to the cobwebs.

So why post after such a long time (crikey has it been that long)?

Well I received an email from Jason that said (amongst other things) “Write some blog! we miss you”.

Gosh, ‘we’.

Who is ‘we’?

My ego may say “THE WHOLE WORLD MY DARLINGS!”

Reality may dictate one, possibly two people.

I’ll go with my ego for now :)

What I usually do after letting the blog slide is launch into a long drawn out promise about how this time next year I’ll be churning out a screenplay a month. Well not this time – I’ll leave that for my next post ;) For now I’ll leave you with random nothingness:

Canapés

I’m working in the London office this week and after work today I went for Canapés in the Executive Lounge of the Regents Park Marriott. It turned out to be hard boiled eggs with mayonnaise, and cream crackers with Philadelphia. Well it sounded posh to me.

The London Paper

The London Paper is a handy little publication. It has some good Sudoku puzzles, good reporting and the most important of all: You take the first one you are offered and carry it in plain sight so that the other gazillion people handing them out don’t bother you.

That works in most cases apart from with the woman who stands at the O2 Centre side of Finchley Road tube station. I walk down the street and I see her. I hold my copy of the paper out in front of me for the world to see, just like Delboy would with a file-o-fax (apologies if that means nothing to my American readers). I’m sure she sees it. I can see her glance down at it, but SHE INSISTS ON SHOVING ANOTHER COPY IN MY FACE!

WHY! I don’t need a spare. If I loose the copy I have, all I will do is shrug my shoulders and say “Shit happens!” What I will not do is kick myself for not taking that second copy from her.

I’d have said anyone could do well in a job handing out a free paper that most people want, but let me tell this woman something: “Get another job, you’re crap at this one!”

Sometimes it’s the small things that bug you :)

Gazillion

I didn’t think ‘gazillion’ was a word, but the spell checker didn’t seem to mind. Spell checker! I hear you exclaim. Well I got an E in English at school so I think spell checkers are a gift from God. Deal with it!

Sushi

I’ve developed quite a taste for it. I don’t know where I can get it where I live so I make it myself at home.

When I’m in London I’ll always eat at Yo! Sushi in the O2 Centre on Finchley Road. I spend quite a bit of money, but the company is paying. I was going to eat there again tonight and then go to the cinema, but someone made me feel guilty about not blogging for a while!

Instead I decided to go back to the hotel to write this….. With take out from Yo! Sushi :) I discovered you can get about three times as much sushi for your money if you buy their set take out boxes. I’m writing this feeling very bloated indeed.

Fancy Mobile Phones

I have a Nokia N95. As well as the ability to make calls and send texts, it has a 5 mega pixel camera, an mp3 player, wifi internet capability, a calendar, a 3D graphics engine, built in GPS with world maps, plays DivX movies, plus a tonne of other stuff.

All I do with it is call my wife at lunch time. All the fancy stuff on it is wasted, but I still want an iPhone.

I’ll stop there and leave you with this:

Be excellent to each other!

FADE OUT!

2007-10-11T09:22:00.000+01:00

Sorry about the complete lack of posting, but I don't have much spare time on the computer at the moment.

With the above in mind I've been a good writer and rather than blogging I've been screenwriting. So without further ado; I am pleased to announce that last night I managed to type "FADE OUT". Woohoo!

I've already been through it and written some of my own notes, so if I can show discipline I'll see if I can start the tweaks tonight.

It's a good feeling typing "FADE OUT" :)

Review: Shoot em Up

2007-09-21T10:16:00.000+01:00

The most fun I've had in the cinema in years!

Simple as that.

Later

Chris

One story at a time please. Not two at once!

2007-09-06T14:45:00.000+01:00

I've never attempted one of those screenplays that tell two or three stories at the same time. I'm not talking about a plot and sub plots, but a screenplay with many characters (a family or group of friends), where they all seem to be the protagonist and all have their story to live out. So perhaps before I bitch about one I've seen I should have a go at writing some good examples, but I believe if I can't make money with crap, no one should!

I fondly remember a film called Parenthood with Steve Martin and a load of other well known actors. Now, I'm not going to watch it again after writing this in case I spoil my memory of it, but I remember it working well. There were many characters all living out their own story (many were complex stories), and when it came to the end, all had been resolved and I remember a balanced film (but I think a lengthy one - I could check IMDB but...).

The other week I watched Trust the Man.

What on earth was that about?

Advertised as a Rom Com with Mr X Files, I sat down to watch to it and found myself confronted with that (minus the 'com') with another story running in parallel. Yes, it tried the many story model. The writer probably understood it is difficult to pull off so only went for 2, but God it was painful to watch. The stories were rushed (to be fair that could be the director's fault), and I guess there was some 'Rom' but the 'Com' was so out of place it seemed unnatural, and what did exist was a poor attempt at bad verbal slapstick (unless I invent a word that's the best description I can come up with).

I'll put my soap box away before I get to the ending, but it missed 'Romantic' by three solar systems.

I think that there isn't enough room in 90 to 120 minutes to tell more than one story well (unless you are a writing God, but there aren't many of those and they know a tough job when they see one), but I guess people will always try; and produce stuff like this.

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!

Hmph! Rant over :)

Writing and a Software Update

2007-08-30T13:07:00.000+01:00

Not much to report of late but Jason prompted me to post in a comment, so in a desperate attempt to hold on to the people who take the time to read this blog I'll give you an update.

During my trips to London I have been plugging away at 'Only in Dreams' on the train. This has involved some re-writing and some new pages and if I gauge things correctly, it should pan out at roughly 85 to 90 pages long. Currently I've got 55 pages (not continuous) putting the script at about 61 to 64% complete, so in short; I'm getting there.

I'm really not sure if what I've got works any more. It's something I've had running around in my head and on paper for such a long time that I don't think I can see the wood for the trees. I'm afraid that if I stop and take another step back I may never get it finished, so if I carry on to the end, I'll at least have something complete to fix.

In other news I've been participating as a beta tester for the new version of Movie Magic Screenwriter. After trying others I always fell back to MMS and I can say that this new version (version 6), is a vast improvement on version 4.x/2000, so users wanting to upgrade won't be disappointed. It brings into the software some basic outlining features. Up to now I'd been using another piece of software for that so I'm quite happy, plus it finally shows misspelled words with a red underline. For a bad speller like me I find that much easier as I can correct on the fly without having to fire up the spell checker like I did with the old version. I don't know where you can buy it in the UK (I haven't looked), but you can buy it on Amazon.com.

Anyway, I'm off to London again next week so the page count should creep up some more.

Later

C

The rusty screenwriting cogs slowly start to turn

2007-08-07T12:21:00.000+01:00

On the train to London yesterday I actually added to one of my screenplays.

Not much as I had to re-read what I had to make sure I was up to speed with where I left it, but I added to it all the same. Only two pages, but the scenes I wrote smashed their way through a big brick wall that previously I couldn't break through.

I'm taking the train home this afternoon so I'll see if I can build up some momentum.

Later

Chris

Anyone on Facebook?

2007-07-29T11:08:00.000+01:00

I joined about a month ago and have found it great for getting in contact with friends and family that I really don't see as often as I should.

Just wondering if anyone else in the scribosphere uses the site, or am I now a cybergeek :)

Later

C

Walking 1000 miles

2007-07-26T08:41:00.001+01:00

Hi all,

Sorry, yet another non writing post but an important one all the same. Please read on.

I have a friend who had been travelling around the world with a rucksack and a laptop. He is about to finish his adventure and rather than just jumping on a plane to come back home he has decided to walk it (approx 1000 miles) from Monaco to Newcastle all for charity.

The charity is The Blue Dragon Children's Foundation www.bdcf.org which takes care of street kids and children with no other chance in life in Vietnam.

The blog for his charity walk is http://www.iwouldwalk1000miles.me.uk/.

Sponsor, donate or just support by giving the walk some publicity on your blog or in your workplace. He is a genuine guy and I personally vouch for him and that this is for real.

Thanks for reading

Chris (ukscriptwriter)

Dry Spell

2007-07-08T10:30:00.000+01:00

I have no idea why, but I have no motivation to write at the moment.

When in London I found other things to do and haven't put finger to keyboard on a script since. I have said before that blogging comes in seasons, so perhaps writing is the same. It could be the weather because let's face it; when it is raining outside and has been for days, it can be difficult to find inspiration.

Anyway, things will pick up soon (my glass is half full) :)

Not a good start.

2007-06-25T10:27:00.000+01:00

So here I am off to London and I have to say things have not gotten off to a good start.

First the train was cancelled so I had to wait for the next one. No so bad but read on; it get’s worse.

We are stuck in Retford, because of the weather and flooding; the train guard is currently announcing that they are waiting permission to go into the flooded area (do trains float?).

I am sharing this tiny bit of internet bandwidth with 7 other people I can see and probably a ton more, but it’s internet on the train so I shouldn’t complain (Hey! I can rhyme!).

And to top it all the train is leaking and people are getting wet! I quickly had to move the laptop before it went “pop fizzle”.

And for some reason GNER (the train company) are directing me onto the internet via a proxy server in Germany, so all of those helpful websites out there (Blogger included) are displaying their menus, buttons and other non-user generated text in German. I could struggle along in French, but German is totally foreign to me.

Well it looks like we may be here for a while so I guess I’ll fire up Movie Magic.

Later

C

Long time no blog

2007-06-23T15:51:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the lack of posting.

I wish I could give some impressive reason why I have had no time to post, but I can offer nothing more than "Life has taken up all of my time".

I am really out of touch with my writing, however I'm off to London for a week with work so a dull hotel room should be all the motivation I need :)

Time will tell.

The result of the shooting script

2007-06-05T17:50:00.002+01:00

So the shooting script was finished and shot.

Here is the result.

Enjoy, rate and please subscribe to my YouTube videos if you have an account there.

There are a few YouTube in jokes and I guess you have to understand what happens when you put Mentos and Diet Coke together to get the build up to the finale, so my audience may be limited.

One thing I do know is the script you have may not work out when put into practice :)

Later

Chris

A "Short" Problem

2007-05-23T13:00:00.000+01:00

One thing that has always bothered me since I've started writing is my inability to write short screenplays.

I don't know if it is because I have never been interested in writing them, or that I'm incapable of condensing a story into less than 15 pages. When I have an idea I want to explore it in detail and that usually raises concerns around the 120 page limit, so I've had no chance up to now of keeping things under 15.

Anyway, since I've started to explore filmmaking all of these little ideas for shorts have began popping into my head. I don't know why I've suddenly started to think 'short', but perhaps it is down to the effort involved in making a film. I've got a little 5 or 6 minute film on the go at the moment and you wouldn't believe how much work is involved - "I didn't deliver that line right, I'll have to film that scene again", or "My God, filming from that angle makes me look deformed, I'd better re-shoot it", and so on…

Anyway, I'm not sure exactly what my point is other than "Hey, I can now write short scripts".

Later

Chris

I'm breaking the rules!

2007-05-17T21:13:00.000+01:00

AND I LOVE IT!

I'm breaking all the spec script rules. I'm numbering scenes, writing CUT TO, specifying close up shots, zoom and all of that. I'm even writing things like "We see" and "beat".

I feel reborn!

Why should I get away with all of this crap? Because I'm writing my very first shooting script. I admit that it is for one of my own videos, but us writer/directors can make the rules up as we go along you know ;)

I hope to start shooting this Saturday and edit during the week. I'll let you see the result when it is done.

Later
C

New Blog: YouTube or Bust!

2007-05-16T13:25:00.000+01:00

Trying to keep in mind that the main subject of this blog is screenwriting, I have created a new blog to chart my experiences in filmmaking:

YouTube or Bust!

If you are in anyway interested in filmmaking and have no idea what to do, you should visit there every now and then as I'll be posting what I learn.

With luck this is something I can do in conjunction with my screenwriting, although it will mean a slight change in tack as I've only written feature length films so far (it will be a while until I'm ready to take on anything the length of a feature).

Anyway, there you have it.

Regards

Chris

Does blogging come in seasons?

2007-05-15T08:19:00.001+01:00

I may have posted about this before but can't be bothered to look back through the archives.

I'm sure blogging does have an "off-season". I openly admit that I've been a slack with my posting lately, but so have many others. Posting on some blogs has slowed to a crawl of one or two a month, whereas Warren over at The Screenwriting Life (see the links on the right) has dropped of the radar completely.

I always feel a bit bad complaining about the lack of posting on blogs because let's face it, I don't know these people outside of the Scribeosphere and they could be in hospital or something. I recall one poster on a forum who fell silent; a month later his wife logged on to let us know he had been killed fighting in Iraq.

Anyway, on a lighter note…

I have a few ideas for a film that will feature more than a two pound coin stuttering around a table to the Benny Hill theme tune. My four year old daughter Anna-Louise has agreed to star, so weather permitting and my ability to make props out of cardboard and glue (I should audition for Blue Peter), production should start on my epic this coming Saturday. If the weather does not play ball then I have a lesser production I will make a start on.

I really hope this doesn't take over from my writing, but if Hollywood isn't interested in making my films, then at least I'm learning how to :)

Later

C

My First Film

2007-05-12T11:17:00.001+01:00

It's been a while since I've posted but I have a good excuse:

I went to the doctor's and he said I had Pneumonia!

That's right. I was about to ask if he would ring an ambulance for me or if I should make my own way to the hospital, but he packed my off home with antibiotics and told me to get some rest.

Anyway, apart from a cold I'm better now, so I thought I'd draw your attention to a list of goals I posted. One of them was to "Dabble in Filmmaking", so without further ado I give you my first attempt at filmmaking.

Go easy on me.

In a non-gay way I love Zach Braff!

2007-05-02T16:20:00.000+01:00

I found this on YouTube and can't get the song out of my head, so I thought I'd pass it on. Perhaps by the end of the day we can have the whole scribeosphere humming the song.

Try this link if you can't see the youtube window above.

Premise or Plot: What have you got?

2007-05-01T14:25:00.000+01:00

Catchy title eh?

Anyway, I was reading a post on Scott’s blog about plot. He was mainly talking about comedy where often a movie is built on a premise and has little to no plot.

This got me thinking about various films I’ve seen (Anchor Man is one where they openly didn’t even bother with a plot… I think… but I’ll get to that), and then onto the scripts I am writing, and I have to say I’ve got my mind in a twist.

My definitions of premise and plot with regards to screenplays have become mixed up and I have to say it’s doing my head in. Do my screenplays actually have plot, or are they just drawn out premise?

I can think of many films where a clear premise is there, but I’m starting to see that premise extended slightly and used to fool us into thinking plot is also there. Take ‘A Night at the Museum’ as an example. Museum exhibits come to life at night is the premise, but what is the plot? Bad guys try to steal museum stuff so the museum night watchman and the exhibits must stop them seems to be the plot, but after thinking about it, that just seems to be another premise and isn’t in the film long enough to be considered plot. The filmmakers make an attempt to do this with a single scene inserted at the start of act two where one of the bad guys plants something expensive from the museum at the night watchman’s apartment, but that isn’t even used in the film later on.

I don’t know. Can you separate the two for me?

I've been tagged!

2007-05-01T11:02:00.000+01:00

Well the last time I played tag was at school but it seems there is now a grown-up version out here in the blog world.

I have been tagged by Mr. Alexander to set myself five goals, and as I’ve been slack with my posting of late I shall take on the task. I don’t know if these goals are to have a deadline or not, but I’ll set a deadline of before Christmas.

My five goals are as follows (in no particular order):

1) Get a better Job
Not that I have a bad job at the moment, but I’ve outgrown my current position. I actually went for a job interview yesterday that went quite well, but I won’t know the result for until Thursday at the earliest, so it makes the list.

2) Complete ‘Only in Dreams’
This one is a writing goal. I could say “write five scripts”, but all wannabe writers set goals like that (I have done so before) without following up on their pledge when they find real life gets in the way.

I state this particular script because it is different from any idea I have had before and it is really going to test my writing. If come out with something that can work I will be happy.

3) Get fit (again!)
I am full of good intentions and I did start to cycle to work last year, but unfortunately I picked up an injury and had to stop. Since then I haven’t started again. I really need a better bike that does not weigh a ton (you should see the hills, nay mountains I have to cycle over).

4) Send a script into the real world
That’s right, put my money, or writing, where my mouth is. I’ll put something out there (with other works in reserve) in an attempt to get an agent. I’ll probably ask the scribeosphere for a load of advice first, but I will do it.

5) Dabble in filmmaking
This is one where it will be easy to make the minimum requirements as I have a video camera beside me right now, and I’m sure my 4 year old daughter will be excited at the chance of playing the leading lady, but this is something I have always had an interest in. I’m not sure what will come out of this goal, but I have one or two ideas.

There! Done! Now, who should I tag?

I tag Iain

Quick update

2007-04-25T07:15:00.001+01:00

I have to apologise for the lack of posting lately; things have been a bit hectic.

I went down to our company's London office last week and used the time to get back into the writing swing of things (train journeys and a night in a hotel are ideal tools to help with that).

I've taken 'Only in Dreams' into act two and can actually see a path through to act three and the end. This can only be bad news as this screenplay should NOT be that easy. I'll plug away to the end and see what I come up with. I'm still unsure about this as a concept, so when I am finished I may need to get some notes on it.

I'm sure I'll have more confidence in the script when it is finished, or at least be able to see what needs fixing :)

In other news I have applied for a job in our London office. I have no idea if I will get it, but I am in with a good chance (and have an interview). It won't require me to move down to the city, but I will mean I have to travel down there for two days a week. I know that sounds a pain, and it is, however my wife is okay with it and you have to take your opportunities when they arise. I guess there will be lots of train journeys for me to keep my writing going.

Anyway, I have an interview I need to swat up for.

Later

C

Big Brother is Watching You!

2007-04-19T13:19:00.000+01:00

You really can get some good information out of Google Analytics.

Following up on my last post where someone searched for "Chris Parr" (that's my name folks), I looked at what Google could tell me and it turns out that the person doing the searching was located in (or near) Madison, Wisconsin, USA. I can even tell you the operating system they used, screen resolution, type of internet browser, number of colours their computer was running with, and a ton of other information.

It shows that person has only stopped by that one time, but if you come again, say hi.

Oooooh, all this information makes me feel powerful. Aint' big brother great! :)

Google Search Terms

2007-04-15T21:58:00.001+01:00

So most people in the scribeosphere do the Google Analytics thing and have a laugh at the searches that bring people to their blog.

I signed up and waited for strange searches like "ham and cheese anal water sports" (hey, its the strangest I could come up with of the top of my head: analyse that!), so I could create a humorous post about it, but alas nothing remotely along those lines.

There are lots and lots of searches for unlock codes for screenwriting software (you naughty, naughty people you. Yes you!), but the strangest search was "how to write birthday call". I've no idea what they were looking for.

Anyway, to the point. One of the searches was for me "Chris Parr". Who are you? Were you looking for me or someone with the same name as me?

Show yourself dammit!

How do you know me? Are you friend or foe? Animal, vegetable or mineral? Skeleton in my closet? Man, woman, alien? or all of the above playing with my mind?

I may never know.

Increased Momentum

2007-04-13T13:26:00.000+01:00

Today I've discovered a new drive for 'Only in Dreams'.

I spent this lunchtime writing out a new beat sheet and I'm now really excited about the script again. My excitement comes from the fact that I'm sure this is something totally new that no one has done before (at least not that I've seen). Now there could be a reason for that (i.e. the concept just doesn't work), but I've managed to map out a story from start to finish so that can't be bad. I've no idea if I can pull this off and I think it is really going to test my ability to write, but I'm up for the challenge.

I'm also going down to London for two days on business next week so there will a train journey each way and a night in a hotel to really get my teeth into it. I hope to be at least 40% into it by the time I get home on Tuesday night.

Anyway, got to get back to work (don't you just hate it when you sit next to your boss?).

Later

Chris

Changed my mind

2007-04-12T20:45:00.000+01:00

Okay, I've removed the Snap link previews.

They don't work exactly as they should with blogger so I've removed them and I'll tweak them on my test blog.

Sorry if you wanted to see how they worked, but you can go here and visit the Artful Writer who has them implemented correctly.

Chris

New Blog Feature!

2007-04-12T13:31:00.000+01:00

If you hover over any external link on this site (try it on my blogroll) you will now be shown a little window giving you a preview of the target site. There is supposed to be a little icon next to each link that has this feature but it doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

If you want this for your blog go to Snap. The only downside is it slows page loading down a little (please feed back if this is a problem).

If anyone with a new style blogger blog adds this and gets the little icons next to their links working, please let me know how you did that.

Enjoy

Chris

Life on what?

2007-04-10T21:59:00.000+01:00

So is 1973 the afterlife?

Step away/walk into the light Sam. That ending was just silly.

You must know what I'm going on about.

EDIT 11th April:

Okay, after thinking about it I won't go as far as silly. I'm just disappointed they didn't do more with it.

Sunshine - You won't need your sunglasses.

2007-04-10T12:50:00.000+01:00

I saw Sunshine on Friday and it wasn't a very bright film.

If you forget that little known fact that anything attempting to go into the Sun will melt; then the theory is bright (oxygen gardens, sun shields etc…), but that is about it.

The film was just a mess. Was it a horror? Not really. Was it a slasher? For about two minutes. Was it a thriller? I can't say I was thrilled.

SPOILERS!

Now call me stupid, but I knew what the film was about (the Sun is failing etc…) and I guessed they were going to fix it in the end, so the film wasn't going to impress me by achieving that goal. How the film gets to the end was going to be my bit of entertainment for the afternoon.

The build up was okay. A bit of techno-explaining dropped in here and there to make things interesting, then they find the first (presumed lost) ship they sent on the same mission 7 years earlier. They go after it and Captain is killed correcting the result of a mistake made by a crew member (very heroic), and they loose their oxygen so they can't make it to the Sun. People must die to save oxygen, and whilst on the other ship (which his broken so they can't use the oxygen there), two more crew members are killed. Only one more and they will have enough air to breathe, so remaining members decide to off the guy who screwed up and is now on suicide watch because his mistake killed the Captain, but he has committed suicide (wey hey!), no we don't see a difficult choice followed through.

Then we have something like:

Crew Member: "Computer; Isn't is great we now have enough air to get to the Sun"
Computer: "No you don't"
Crew Member: "Yes we do!"
Computer: "No you don't"
Crew Member: "There are 4 people, we have enough air for 4 people"
Computer: "There are 5 people on board, you don't have enough air."

Then we have a two minute slasher movie, where for some reason that is NEVER explained, the Captain of the first ship has survived and tries to kill everyone so they can't defy God's will by 'saving' the Sun.

Now, all of that should make a pretty exiting film, but what was presented in the cinema missed the boat by a mile. There was never a single point in the film when I thought "how on earth are they going to do it now?". Even when the Captain from the other ship started killing people the worst I thought was "well that's inconvenient". No explanation given as to how he survived exposure to the sun (he is burned almost to a crisp, but can still walk, run, talk and kill), and 7 years in deep space. Is he a ghost, alien or God's agent? Who knows?

Then we get to the end where they fly a big bomb into the Sun without it melting to complete the mission (well, apart from the getting home because they are all now dead).

Visually it was great, but pretty poor otherwise. It was a toss up between Sunshine and the Will Farrell ice skating thing. I wish I'd chosen the ice skating option.

Oh well.

C

Crikey! I'd better post something

2007-04-09T09:13:00.000+01:00

Crikey. Well there's a word I don't often use, it's so... Well I have no idea.

Life seems to be getting more and more hectic and I'm writing nothing at the moment. I applied for a new job at work and the very next day I convinced my boss to apply for a higher position. Now I'm torn as it's his job I really want, but his won't become free until he gets the higher position (that's if he gets it at all).

In other news my wife has gone back to work. That means I have to look after a baby for 13 hours when she wont take milk from a bottle and refuses to sleep unless she gets her milk in the way nature intended (I'm ill equipped for that I'm afraid). Oh yeah, I also have to keep a four year old entertained at the same time. Life is fun :)

I hope my muse finds me soon.

C

Fundraising Plug

2007-03-28T12:58:00.000+01:00

I've been waiting for him to put a "donate" link on his blog, but he is currently busy planning.

Iain is a friend of mine currently currently wandering around various countries in the Pacific region. In an attempt to raise some money for charity he will head home, stop roughly 1000 miles away and walk the rest. He's a sound bloke and you can take my word for it that this is genuine. I have his stuff in my loft, so if you donate and he doesn't do it, I'll sell his possessions and send you the money. After I've drank his wiskey that is :)

Seriously, he is genuine so take a look (I'll plug the site again when he is accepting donations).

Click here to find out more (www.iwouldwalk1000miles.me.uk).

Clerks 2

2007-03-27T12:35:00.000+01:00

A little about me:

I don’t really swear, don’t do drugs, don’t break the law, don’t abuse people, in fact I don’t really do much apart from work, look after the family, sleep and attempt to keep up my hobby (wishing it was a career) of screenwriting.

So why do I like Kevin Smith films that much?

By all accounts I should be repulsed (or at least slightly offended) by them (I wonder if deep down I really want to be a loud mouth, abusive slacker with no prospects - Analyse that if you will!). I mean some of them aren’t really any good: Mallrats; what was that all about?

A really good example is Clerks 2. I had missed this at the cinema so I bought it off Amazon and watched it over the weekend. I really enjoyed it but when I put my writers head back on it wasn’t really that good a film.

(Spoilers)

Even though Kevin Smith’s career was founded with a film about Dante and Randal, what exists as his career today is constructed around Jay and Silent Bob (two bit part characters from the first Clerks movie). They were in Clerks 2, but as far as the story goes they had no business being there. They offered Dante and Randal some money, but that didn’t justify their existence in the film. In fact they took up valuable screen time that could have been used to fill in the gaps (I won’t go into those gaps unless prompted to do so). Perhaps this is another example of a director getting away with stuff other writers would get dropped for.

Anyway, like I said; for reasons unknown I enjoyed the film. If you have never seen a Kevin Smith film before I would avoid it. If you have then give it a go.

When Sequels Disappoint

2007-03-26T13:33:00.000+01:00

I was fishing around on filmflex last night looking for a film to watch and I stumbled across “Arthur 2 on the Rocks”. I’ve never seen it before, but am very fond of the first film so I typed in my pin number and sat down to watch.

What a load of rubbish it was!

It started off okay; not as snappy and funny as the first but sometimes sequels aren’t. Then it all went wrong (spoilers ahead). It was like the writer said:

“This story is going nowhere fast. I’d better slap on an ending!”

The premise of the story is that Arthur looses everything he has (money, home etc…) apart from his wife. If he wants it back he has to divorce her and marry the girl he left at the alter in the first film. All while they are trying to adopt a baby.

So Arthur goes through the motion of moving into the pokey apartment and working for a living, but the father of the jilted bride makes it impossible for him. His wife leaves him and he ends up homeless on the street. In an attempt to blackmail the father of the jilted bride he gathers some dirt that can’t possibly stick. At this point the pace of the film is grinding to a painful halt and should really be ending, so the writer does something like this:

Father of Jilted Bride (FOJB): Arthur, you have lost! You’re finished! [Insert evil laugh here]
Jilted Bride (JB): Daddy, he doesn’t love me, so I don’t want to marry him.
FOJB: What?
JB: I don’t want him, give him his money back.
FOJB: Oh okay, I wasn’t bothered about that anyway.
Arthur: Cool!

Arthur runs to the shops and turns up at his wife’s place with a convoy of vans full of gifts.

Wife: You got it all back?
Arthur: You bet!
Wife: That’s great, we can be together again!
Adoption Lady: And look; I’ve brought you a baby girl! It doesn’t matter that you had split up and one of you was living on the street, because I’m a nice person!

WTF! What was all that about? Arthur really got himself out of that mess didn’t he! He didn’t grow, learn anything, or defeat the bad guy. He was exactly the same person he was at the start of the film. I suppose he is sober but that just seems to make his character dull. We witnessed no battle with alcohol, he just decides to give up.

I feel robbed and want my money back!

Hmmpf!

300 and stuff

2007-03-24T13:09:00.000Z

Saw “300” last night and thought it was a cracking film.

It’s a no-brainer really. Everyone knows the story and how it will end, so it’s really just an opportunity to see some good blood, guts and action. One other thing I saw that I didn’t think much about on the way in was some good filmmaking. If you have time to kill I would recommend it. The only point I did find strange was that a hard-ass Greek King would yell “THIS. IS. SPARTA!” in a Scottish accent, but hey; I suppose it happens :)

Now I usually don’t go for horror films, and the ones I have seen didn’t scare me that much, but whilst waiting for 300 to start I saw a trailer for “Ghost House” (I think that was the title). Now I don’t really swear so you should take that into account when I try to describe the effect it had on me:

“It scared the fucking living daylights out of me. Shit the bed it was scary.”

If that was just the trailer I don’t know if I would survive the film. That will tell you that it will be a fantastic horror film or I’m just a big girls blouse.

No progress on the writing front this week. Back in January I said that I would write at my own pace and not bother about it if I didn’t write for weeks, but I think I need to kick myself a little. I hope to have made some progress by this time next week.

Anyway, must rush as my 5 month old is protesting at the fact she has just woken up in her cot when she fell asleep in my arms about an hour ago.

[Thud!] Back to reality :)

Later

Chris

WTF!

2007-03-20T12:43:00.001Z

(Don't watch the youtube clip if you have kids around or you are offended by bad language)

I posted ages ago about a version of one of my scripts where a character had a bit of a foul mouth. I was worried that even though it was in character, it would be off-putting to readers. Anyway I re-wrote the character (not because of his foul mouth) and the language was toned down as a result.

To get to the point; I found The Fu*$ing Short Version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back on youtube the other day. Now I think the gauntlet has been thrown down to produce the longest film using just bad language.

(If you can't see the clip, use this link)

Ouch! My ears hurt :)

Update

2007-03-14T07:56:00.000Z

Just a quick post to let you all know I am still alive.

I've been up in Cumbria dealing with some family business so I haven't been writing over the last week. Things should be back to normal at the weekend.

C

Out with the old, in with the new.

2007-03-02T08:08:00.000Z

I've canned my "Twist on the Super Hero genre" effort as I only really had two thirds of a first act, half of act two, and not much of act three.

I have decided that I am allowed only five screenwriting threads running around in my head at any one time, and have replaced it with my Rom-Com and another idea that has been built on a little story my grandfather once told me.

The story itself is a cheerful one and isn't worth a feature screenplay, in fact probably isn't enough for a short, but as a foundation for a feature it sets up the motivation for one of the main characters and will give me the type of character I've always wanted to build a screenplay around: "The passive protagonist". In a nutshell this is a World War 2, Merchant Navy story (I'll probably have to do a bit of research there).

I doubt any of my family read this but if they do the script will be called "Bacon and Eggs". With that title they should know the story I am talking about.

Five threads at once may be too much, but in reality at any one time two of those should only be at the outline stage.

No Progress

2007-03-01T09:26:00.000Z

Sorry for the lack of posting.

There has been some bad news in the family this week so nothing much writing wise has been going on. Normal service to resume next week.

Regards

Chris

The Great Screenwriting Software Extravaganza!

2007-02-25T20:06:00.001Z

Extravaganza! Now there’s a word you don’t hear much any more.

Anyway, the people at Sophocles commented on one of my software posts suggesting I give their software a run for its money. In the interests of fairness I have downloaded the beta of their next version and will use it to write my new Rom-Com.

This means I and using MMS to do the re-write of Good Guys, FD for Only in Dreams, and now Sophocles for the Rom-Com.

The comparison won’t be posted until I have finished each one, and unfortunately that may take some time so please be patient.

Regards

C

Last Piece of the Jigsaw Needed for my Romantic Comedy.

2007-02-21T13:04:00.000Z

After a (very, very, very) long time trying to come up with an original idea for a rom-com, I think I've finally got something. It is in the form of "guy develops a super power to help him with women", so it isn’t entirely original in format (there is What Women Want for example), but I'm sure the idea is fresh enough to avoid being a clone.

But how does the guy get his power?

I can't use lightning as its been used before. I was thinking of an accident: run down by a car or some sort of fall, but the power would need to be taken away and therefore the event would need to happen again (a bit harsh to run the guy over twice).

Then there is the magical mystic object approach, but like most things it as been done before (Big, Vice Versa).

This is clearly fundamental to the story so I don't really want to use an event that has been used before. Of course this doesn't stop most writers (how many body swap films are out there?), but I feel I'm letting the story down if I copy.

Now where the hell is my Muse?

Later

C

P.S. Feel free to throw any suggestions in for free.

Progress

2007-02-20T13:20:00.000Z

I really feel like I'm making good progress for a change.

The re-write of Good Guys is past the 50% mark (just), and my new spec 'Only in Dreams', is at 10% after only a few days. It doesn't sound like much but I'm quite pleased considering I have a day job and a family :)

C

Pointless Scenes

2007-02-20T12:40:00.001Z

Whilst looking over act one of Good Guys which is still a little two long, I came across a scene or two that had no business being in the script. They served no purpose to the story at all.

That got me thinking:

What is the most pointless scene in a film that you can think of?

I have to go for that racing car scene in Charlie’s Angels. I have no idea why on earth that scene was in the film.

C

Children of Men

2007-02-18T19:29:00.001Z

I watched Children of Men last night, a film I had missed at the cinema.

I have to say I was really looking forward to it. The idea is fantastic, the story and its setting is new and fresh, however when it came to the end credits I couldn't help but feel a bit let down.

Like I said, the idea and its setting: Fantastic. The director had done a top notch job in showing us what a world like that would be like, and actors were also top notch.

I just found the execution of the story lacking in some way. Thinking about it I think it is just the ending that left me wanting. It seemed rushed and unfinished. I got the impression the whole movie was filmed in sequence from start to finish and when they were getting towards the end someone said:

"Aw crap! We're running out of money. We'd better think up a quick ending and film it pronto!"

This film is so close to fantastic, but still so far away.

Oh well, until the next hyped up offering.

C

Final Draft Demo

2007-02-17T14:00:00.001Z

As promised I’ve downloaded the demo of Final Draft 7 and am writing my newest screenplay with it (see ‘Only in Dreams’ in the progress section on the right).

I won’t compare it with Movie Magic Screenwriter just yet, but there are some things it does better than MMS and some things it doesn’t.

I’ll post more later.

C

More Software - CeltX

2007-02-16T08:03:00.001Z

I thought I'd follow up on my last post with some more software.

Before I bought any software I spent ages doing the FD or MMS debate, freaking out at the price. At the end of the day you could use MS Word or any text editor, but auto formatting really helps.

If money is an issue then try CeltX (www.celtx.com). This is free and does the job well. It also has some story and character development features, as well as enabling you to back up you work online. I used it for a while and couldn't fault it. The only reason I went back to MMS was because I was used to it.

If I had no money and didn't own MMS, I would use Celtx without complaint.

C

Movie Magic Screenwriter

2007-02-15T19:16:00.000Z

I don't know if this is old news to any of you but Movie Magic Screenwriter 6.0 is out next month.

I've used MMS for what must be at least 5 years now after buying version 4.0. Updates have now moved this on to 4.7, but since then I've heard nothing about the next major version (I've no idea what happened to version 5).

I think Movie Magic is great. It has NEVER EVER CRASHED on me. It formats everything for me and saves/exports in enough formats; native, rtf, pdf, ASCII,and a ton of others. It will even convert to final draft version 4 format (although I'm sure no one uses version 4 anymore). The formatting is correct "out of the box" (as far as I know) and I've never had to touch any settings. The inline script notes are a great help and it even has the silly stuff like that talking robots to read your script back to you.

From what I've heard the "Final Draft industry standard" thing isn't as true as it used to be, and FD's support is infamous.

I have used both Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter before and MSS wins by a mile, however in the interests of fairness I will download the latest Final Draft demo and post back if I decide to eat humble pie :)

Either way I'm still looking forward to the upgrade.

Later

C

What are the rules of a spec script again?

2007-02-14T21:18:00.001Z

I like the film ‘Last of the Mohicans’. It has a great opening sequence where nothing much is said at all. I looked up the script on the internet to see how that is portrayed. The following is what I found (do you think this would make it as a spec script from a newbie writer?):

FADE IN

The screen is a microcosm of leaf, crystal drops of precipitation, a stone,
emerald green moss. It's a landscape in miniature. We HEAR the forest. Some
distant birds. Their sound seems to reverberate as if in a cavern. A piece of
sunlight refracts within the drops of water, paints a patch of moss yellow. The
whisper of wind is joined by another sound that mixes with it. A distant
rustling. It gets closer and louder. It's shallow breathing. It gets ominous.
We're interlopers on the floor of the forest and something is coming.

SUDDENLY: A MOCCASINED FOOT

rockets through the frame scaring us and ...
EXTREMELY CLOSE: PART OF AN INDIAN FACE
running hard. His head shaved bald except for a scalp-lock. Tattoos. He's
twenty-five. He seems tall and muscled. Heavy, even breathing. We'll learn later
this man is UNCAS, the last of the Mohicans.

Now don't get me wrong; it is a fantastic film, but I couldn't get away with this in a month of Sundays. It looks like it was lifted right out of a book!

Oh well. One day I'll have enough film credits to write like this :)

Later

C

It's no longer my space

2007-02-12T20:43:00.001Z

After my last post I found myself wondering why I bother having a page on MySpace?

I couldn't come up with an answer so I removed it. I'm not advertising my blog on it. I'm not using it as any sort of CV. I've found it easier to find information on like minded writers through blogger. I just couldn't see the point on keeping another site up to date.

If I feel alone out there in the virtual world I may re-subscribe, but until then MySpace is my space no longer.

C

What on earth is MySpace?

2007-02-11T19:34:00.001Z

I know I said I’m ill but before I went to bed I had a random click around MySpace.

I do have my own page there (click here to take a look) and it would seem I’m a bit of a Billy-no-mates as I have only 3 friends. To make it worse you get one of those for free when you join. Since I signed up I have yet to define what MySpace is.

On one hand it seems like a world wide competition to get yourself more ‘MySpace friends’ than anyone else. I’ve had more people requesting to be my friend than I’ve had hot dinners. No reason offered and when I view their profile I have nothing in common with them at all. It just seems like they need to have more virtual friends than the next person.

One the other hand… well I can’t think of anything, apart from 75% of the profiles have been modified so badly it is impossible to read them.

It seems to offer you a blog, but there are much better blog offerings out there. You can upload pictures (again, countless better places out there) and videos (youtube?). The fact that all of these are in one place is let down by the fact they are so inferior.

Perhaps it is just a fad - just like this whole interwebnet thing ;)

Cough, splutter!

2007-02-11T18:20:00.000Z

Guurppphhaawwwhhh.

That sound is me feeling like crap. I’m ill with some evil virus thing that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I doubt any writing will happen for the next few days but I have a few posts queued up so I should be able to keep the blog active.

Now, where’s my wife, I need sympathy.

C

What makes a 'classic'?

2007-02-07T12:53:00.001Z

I wondered about this after watching Kelly's Heroes last night.

I was board out of my skull scrolling down the TV guide. Nothing worth watching was on and then I saw the title, smiled, said "that will do", and pressed ok. I've watched it more times than I can remember and have been entertained with every viewing. Kelly's Heroes to me is a "classic" film. A film you love and will watch at any time (even if there are only 20 minutes left to play), and be really entertained.

But what makes it a classic (assuming you agree that is the case here)?

The characters don't really present any acting challenges, so I doubt any Oscars were picked up for the performances (although you have to love Donald Sutherland's Sgt. Oddball), the story is good even if it is a little unbelievable that they could have pulled it off, in fact if you step back an look at it you see nothing more than just above average. But there is something else there.

I remember watching this as a kid. To me back then it was exciting with action and tension. I wanted to be Oddball and started telling people to "knock it off with them negative waves". People did die in the film, but the horrors of war were hidden from me.

So, is it nostalgia that makes a film become a classic? Can only films that we remember fondly become a classic in our hearts?

There have been many good, possibly even great films since I cast off my childhood, but I wouldn't go as far as calling any of them classics. At the end of the day perhaps "classic" is in the eye (or mind) of the viewer.

C

About bloody time!

2007-02-06T13:02:00.001Z

I never thought I would manage it but I've finally managed to drag Good Guys kicking and screaming into act two.

If you look to the right the progress has jumped 10% up to 35% and I feel like I need to celebrate. I went down to London on the train for work, and that gave me 2.5 hours each way to sort the thing out.

Good Guys was the first thing I go to the 'FADE TO BLACK' stage and although I was chuffed to bits with it, it was also crap. What I thought was act two was actually the second drawn out half of act one. Act two really started around page 66 (I was almost too embarrassed to write that). This was draft two, as draft one was the Dukes of Hazzard clone I blogged about ages ago.

To fix this I needed to merge act one with what I thought was act two, slim it down to 25'ish pages (30 tops), come up with a whole new act two, plus re-write half of my act three. I'm sure many of you would have all that rattled off in an afternoon, but I shit my pants at the prospect (well not really but I was going for drama!).

I started draft three and the thing ground to a halt approaching the end of act one and I couldn't move it on for toffee. It sat in my desk draw (actually on my memory stick) for six months and now I've come back to it things seem a little clearer. If I'm totally honest I need to slim another three of four pages off act one (it finishes on page 33), but that should be no problem when compared to the task of getting it that far.

With luck I should have it finished within the month - well it's the thought that counts ;)

C

I like to push the pramalot

2007-02-05T20:06:00.001Z

I put a link in a comment on another blog and can’t resist posting it there:

Click here

Enjoy

Music to write to...

2007-02-04T14:39:00.000Z

...when writing a feel good ending.

I often listen to music when writing as it helps me visualise the end product, so I thought I’d list a few good songs. This set is good stuff is you’re looking for that feel good ending (in no particular order):

Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Dignity - Deacon Blue
Maggie May (unplugged and sat down) - Rod Stewart
These are the Days - Jamie Cullum
Good Riddance (Time of your Life) - Green Day
Somewhere over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo
A Murder of One - Counting Crows
Sullivan Street - Counting Crows
Where’s Summer B? - Ben Folds Five
These Are Days - 10,000 Maniacs
Walls - Tom Petty
Only in Dreams - Weezer
Island in the Sun - Weezer
Acoustic #3 - Goo Goo Dolls

Agree or disagree; they do the job for me.

C

Feel Good TV

2007-01-23T12:47:00.001Z

I'm back from my trip up to Cumbria to visit family (not that I told you I was going), and I come back a year older - I'm 33 years and 2 days old as I write this.

For my birthday I got (among other things) Scrubs seasons 2 and 3. This is my feel good TV. It used to be Friends but when I watch the repeats it just seems so dated and I wonder why I ever liked it.

Feel good TV is great; you find yourself alone in the house with an afternoon to spare and nothing to do, so you watch your feel good TV and have the most relaxing afternoon you can remember. Some people may reach for the computer and visit interesting (ahem) web sites, but I'd settle for Scrubs. Plus I know my wife sometimes reads this blog, so it's not like I'd admit to that here ;)

I was off work yesterday and my better half was out with the kids for the afternoon, so I had my fix. I'll be okay until the end of season 3 and then I'll have to suffer the shakes because I don't think season 4 is out yet.

Writers out there may be horrified to hear that I didn't use the afternoon to rattle off a good handful of pages, but I remember my resolution to write at my own pace and only when I feel like it (I'm determined to prove I'll write more that way).

Anyway, I'll rattle more pages off tonight as I think I'm in a writing mood. To aid in this I seem to have developed the ability to write in the living room with a 4 year old running around and the TV on. Admittedly I only manage a page in the time it would normally take me to write four or five, but one page is still better than nothing.

Later

C

Page count increasing.

2007-01-18T12:28:00.001Z

The time is approaching again:

I am soon to hit the "end of act one" mark with the hit man script. I am over half way through the first act and may have a little trouble getting things in the correct place (I don't want to drag it out to page 60), and I do want to keep this script out of my act one pile.

Wow, what a link that was (I should be on the radio or TV). If you have an act one pile check out the following:

The Act One Project.

Register your interest by leaving a comment here, on the project blog (follow the link above or on the right), or drop me an email with Act One Project in the subject. Leave contact details and I'll be in touch.

Later

Chris

The Act One Project

2007-01-16T22:23:00.001Z

The hit man script has been added to, so I'm now allowed to post this.

Let me introduce a little collaborative project I've thought up:

The Act One Project.

I know we all struggle to get on with our own spec scripts, but I'm thinking a little structure may help speed up the writing process and allow us to put the odd stalled act one to some use.

If you are interested then leave a comment here, on the project blog, or drop me an email with the subject "Act One Project" and I'll be in touch (don't forget to leave your contact details).

Kind regards

Chris

Changes Complete

2007-01-16T12:55:00.000Z

I think I've got all the changes to the new template made:

I've replaced HaloScan comments with blogger comments.
I've got the progress bars back.
My blogroll links now open in new windows (please let me know if your pop-up blocker doesn't like that).
I've got SiteMeter linking again.

That should do me for now and if you are new here I apologise as most of this will mean nothing to you. Writing posts will resume shortly.

Later

C

Do you fear change?

2007-01-15T12:58:00.000Z

After waiting for ages, I've finally been moved over to the new style of blogger.

Has a good thing came to someone who waited? We'll see.

To mark this monuments occasion I will be changing the look and feel of the blog to take advantage of the new features. I will probably put HaloScan to bed as what I use for comments and move to blogger comments. They have served me well as they are not password protected and only had one piece of spam (manually entered I'm sure), but one must move with the times and it will mean one less web account to manage. This also means that historic comments will disappear, but I can live with that. I just hope you guys can put up with the word verification (but most blogs have that nowadays).

Of course, new people coming to this blog after the event reading the archives will have no idea what I am on about, but that can’t be helped (I currently use a white template and before that (and a week of "suck it and see" template experiments) it was orange (yuck)).

I'm determined to do more writing tonight so I may get to post about a little collaborative project I've go up my sleeve.

Later

C

Let's try it this way instead

2007-01-11T08:43:00.000Z

True to my resolution, I have written more before I wrote this post.

The hit man thing is moving along at a slow pace, but that's the important thing; the moving.

I have decided to take a different approach to my writing this year. In the past I would go out of my way to make sure I wrote as much as possible, and then get pissed off when I didn't manage anything. This year I'm putting myself under no such pressure. If I don't manage to put finger to keyboard for 3 weeks then that will be fine. I'll plod along at a snail's pace if I must, but all that matters is I plod along.

All that said, it does seem to downsize my ambitions towards screenwriting as a career. In the past I would have said something like: "Write and polish three screenplays and use then to get an agent…", but 3/4 of a screenplay won't get me that (not that 3 polished efforts would guarantee it either, but you know what I mean).

This isn't really a step back from things, but more of a less ambitious approach. I'm sure many, many people would disagree and say 100% ambition is a must to succeed, but I think ambition can often get in the way. Sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees.

Who knows, less pressure may mean this approach may become more productive.

Later

C

Resolutions and Rules

2007-01-02T13:17:00.000Z

So 2007 has arrived and life goes on.

I've thought about making a large list of resolutions (like get fit, promoted at work, get an agent, sell a screenplay, make a ton of extra money, work for myself), but I won't commit to anything more than the following:

Write a new spec script.

Simple as that. If you look over on the right you will see a new script has appeared (the hit man one). You could say I have cheated a bit as I kicked it off on New Year's eve when the most people were partying, but I'll put it down as effort from this year.

One other thing that I will change is the order blog and write. I know I had a blogging absence at the end of 2006, but apart from that I always tried to blog once a day. This usually meant that by the time I had done that and caught up with my blogroll, I had no time left to write. So the new rule:

I am not allowed to blog until I have written at least one page.

Well there you have it. Now I should get on with it.

Later

C

Small Update

2006-12-29T09:39:00.000Z

I'm pondering making one of those new year thinggies where I promise to do all sorts of things in the coming year.

I haven't had much time to write (hence not much activity here), but I feel now that our latest arrival Lucy has started to settle down, I am starting to feel a bit more settled myself.

Anyway, I hope you all had a great Christmas and come back in the new year to see if a list of resolutions appears.

All the best

Chris

Another one for the pile

2006-10-29T09:19:00.000Z

Whilst trying hard to get to sleep last night but failing big time (the wind outside rather than the baby this time), I came up with a new idea. My head has been so far away from the screenwriting world of late that I thought I was heading for a rather lengthy break.

As I couldn’t sleep I went downstairs for the laptop and rattled off a few pages. At the moment I’ve got an act one, the launch of the climax for act three with an ending that needs work, and a premise for the progression of act two.

I’m in new territory here:
1) I’ve never attempted a black comedy before but it looks like that is what I’ve got here.
2) The script opens with a scene just before the final play out of act three, and then flashes back a period of time to recount the story up to that point (I’ve never done that before and has to be done perfectly to work).
3) I have the main character narrating with a voice over (never been there either).
4) It’s about a hit man (I’m not claiming any knowledge of that area to draw on).

Anyway, I’m happy to know I still have the motivation to come up with new ideas, so I’ll add this one to the pile and see where it goes.

Update

2006-10-20T21:34:00.000+01:00

Lucy Rose Parr was born this Sunday at 15:05 almost week early at 7lb 1(quite a shock when our first was a week late).

I am knee deep in nappies and getting by on between 1.5 and 3 hours sleep. Looking after a new born baby came back to me in a flash, but what I wasn't prepared for was making sure a 4 year old doesn't feel neglected at the same time. I am holding my own (so far).

This means nothing writing wise is happening. Nill, zilch, nada. I haven't even had time to think up ideas, not even a crap one and I can usually average 5 of those a day if I try. I'll post piccies when I get them on the computer, but I'm afraid posting may become a little off topic if the time available for things writing stays as it is.

Anyway, I hear a crying baby :)

C

Life on Mars

2006-10-09T21:20:00.000+01:00

Just read on the BBC that Life on Mars will end after series two.

I'm not very shocked as it became clear to me half way through series one that although it was a great concept, it would probably have worked better as a mini series. I do hope they find new life in it for series two and prove me wrong rather than offer a whole series of nostalgic moments.

Robin Hood (BBC1 & BBC3)

2006-10-09T08:01:00.000+01:00

I was going to call this post "And Cancel Christmas!" as Alan Rickman stole the show with his acting in the film version, but this is the small screen and nobody stole any show. Anyway .....

I watched the start of the new Robin Hood series last night.

I thought the writing was a bit weak at the very start, but that sorted itself out a little and the same could be said of the directing: What on earth was going on when they were showing off twirling swords around? They missed the mark with that sequence.

There was just enough (and only just) in the 45 minutes to make me want to watch the next episode, so the jury is still out. HOWEVER I may stop watching if they don't get rid of that whizzing arrow sound when they show the title of a location on the screen. After the third time I wanted to punch the TV.

I did think the actors outperformed the writing, apart from Marion who I thought was weak (although that could be down the her limited screen time).

I think I'll give it two more episodes to grab my interest. My last point is that they should have made it an hour long as I think 45 minutes may make episodes look rushed.

It's getting closer!

2006-10-05T07:42:00.000+01:00

Can someone please slow life down, or at least put a few extra days in the week?

The free script notes service is on hold for the moment. The baby is due in 2 weeks and I have 2 scripts to review. I think it is safer to leave it at that until we are settled with the new baby before I accept any more submissions. You can picture it as I get home from work.

ME: Honey, I'm home!
My Better Half (MBH): Oh, thank God! They baby has been crying all day and I haven't been able to get a thing done.
ME: Are you okay?
MBH: Yeah, I'm fine, but could you look after the baby for a while or do the house work?
ME: Sorry, I can't. I'm off upstairs to read this script. And I'll be writing the review tomorrow after work.
MBH: ..........

Well I'm sure you know what MBH would say next, so I won't accept any more submissions for a while as I've grown quite accustomed to my man bits over the years.

On top of all that the DIY is taking ages. I'm on the home straight but no one told me the home straight is 3 miles long. Do you have any idea how long it takes to sand a banister down? I didn't but I do now. More sanding tonight.

I'll have mine with a twist please.

2006-09-29T08:02:00.000+01:00

Ooooo Look! On the right. Yes, there over on the right. Actual movement on the writing front. And it's a new screenplay!

I started thinking about the superhero genre a month or so ago for a post when I was going to comment about superhero movies always being based on comics. Then I thought of The Incredibles, My Super Ex Girlfriend, and I think two others but they have slipped my mind. Can anyone add more?

Then I thought "Can I write something to add to that list?"

I lost interest in that as a bad idea pretty quickly, but then thought "Well how about a twist on the superhero genre". My Super Ex Girlfriend was a sort of twist, but I wanted more and I think I've hit it! I can't imagine that this concept is brand spanking, right out of the box new, but it hasn't made it to the screen yet (I'm pretty sure it hasn't). I know I'm not giving anything away here but I'm excited about this idea and I'm in paranoid screenwriter mode.

Compared to the other ideas I have mulled over/attempted, I'm treating this one as a bit of a laugh (but I remain serious about writing). I suppose this is good as it's supposed to be at least slightly funny. I've approached every other idea as seriously as possible, so it will be interesting to see how this one turns out.

Time will tell :)

This and that

2006-09-25T21:39:00.000+01:00

What a hectic two weeks!

Oh, I should mention this now: This post has nothing to do with screenwriting.

Bought a new carpet and they said it would take them 3 to 4 weeks to get it from the manufacturer. “Great” I said, “that will give me plenty of time to get the decorating done”. Then it turns up after a week. They will keep it for another week before they have to install it, but curse their efficiency! Now I have to take more time off to get finished before the fitters turn up.

In other news, I was in hospital on Thursday stuck in an MRI machine (and unable to decorate). My God that was a boring, mind numbingly dull experience. Stuck inside a narrow tube for 65 minutes, lying as still as possible. What made it worse was half way through the nurse came in and said the following:

“Now, I would like you to try and not swallow for about six or seven minutes. Okay!”

Now, I’m not sure what she was trying to achieve saying that (well, she was probably trying to have me lay there for six or seven minutes without swallowing), but if I ever had a chance of pulling that task off, my chances reduced to about zero with me stuck in a metal tube having nothing else but that on my mind. Anyway, my MRI results and a number of other test results will be the subject of a meeting in about a month and then I will get the results in layman’s terms (don’t worry, I still plan to live to a ripe old age).

Then to top it all, I was Ikea’d on Sunday! Roughly 3.5 hours after going in, £210 down and with only half of what they said was in stock on my trolley (the other half wasn’t in stock, even though they said it was), I stumbled out of there. Now I have to go back tomorrow morning and fight my way back out with the rest. Actually, I think I’ll ring first and hope they have learned how to read their stock computer.

Oh yeah, and not to forget the baby is due in three weeks!

Did any of that make any sense at all to you? Actually I don’t care as it’s off my chest :)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, that’s better.

Fear of the Rewrite

2006-09-19T07:54:00.000+01:00

I was just reading Optimistic Reader's blog and 4 words slapped me in the face:

Fear of the rewrite.

The 3rd draft of Good Guys is a big rewrite. The problem is the progress bar over there on the right has been sitting at 25% for about three weeks now. Act one was taken to with a chain saw and I've got that finished, but act two is going to be brand new. I won't be taking much at all from what exists apart from perhaps one scene and maybe 2 funny situations. Apart from that act two will be rewritten from scratch.

Half of me doesn't want to do this. I already have a complete script from start to finish. Starting this draft means that is no longer true. This half of me wants to undo all the changes and sit there hugging draft number two.

The other half of me is a realist. This half knows it isn't good enough and if I really want any hope of writing for a living, I have to be able to do harsh things like throw 3/4 of a completed script away.

I have to overcome the fear of the rewrite.