Solution:

Here's my first quick attempt at the solution to my previous post (please forgive the formatting). Feel free to offer advice:


INT. RADFORD'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS

              CLAIRE
         Hello, I'm Claire Radford, how are you?

She stops, extending her hand over the sofa.

Jason smiles and accepts her greeting.

              JASON
         Jason, Jason Brent. You caught me off guard for
         a moment there.

              CLAIRE
         I apologise if my father's keeping
         you waiting Jason. Have you travelled far?

              JASON
         Er, no, not at all. It's a sunny
         day, I put the top down and enjoyed the drive over here.

              CLAIRE
         Wonderful. My father shouldn't be too
         much longer, so if you don't mind I
         have some things to do before lunch.

              JASON
         No problem.

Claire turns and walks to the door.

She makes it half way.

              JASON
         Wait.

She turns.

              CLAIRE
         Yes?

              JASON
         Err, well I doubt this meeting will last
         too long, and like I said it's a nice day,
         so I know this nice little restaurant nearby
         with a quiet balcony. We could have some
         lunch and enjoy the fresh air.

She takes a curious step forward.

              CLAIRE
         But you don't know me.

Jason confidently smiles and raises his hand towards the window.

              JASON
         And look, what a nice day to rectify that.

Claire turns and again heads for the door.

She glances over her shoulder and smiles.

              CLAIRE
         Perhaps.

Writing Physical Attraction

How do you write one person being attracted to another?

One way could be:

Bill's eyes open wide as he beholds her natural beauty.

To me that sounds like it's leaning a bit towards Mills and Boon, and this is a screenplay, not a novel. Another way is:

Bill is clearly attracted to her.

But I've seen so many readers warn against writing 'clearly'. I can't do the 'Bill blushes', or make bill babble is words nervously as he isn't that type of character, but I must make it clear that Bill is attracted to 'her'.

I may go with the my first example for now, but please comment, or point me at other articles that discuss this.

Thanks in advance

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

A complaint letter Mosh would be proud of

My friend Iain, aka Mosh writes a mean complaint letter. I happen to think he is rather good at it, but this guy (click here) has just raised the bar.

Enjoy

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Almost guilty

They say never judge a book by its cover.

I've never heard anyone say never judge a film by its title, but often people do. In fact my wife does it all the time and it bugs me.

Anyway, I hold my hands up and say I was almost guilty of the same crime.

I had a chance to watch a film called 'The Astronaut Farmer'. "What a silly title" I thought. Probably some comedy about some guy trying to grow stuff on the moon.

Then I looked it up on the internet and found it wasn't such a film. I decided to watch it and really, really enjoyed it.

I thought the ending was rushed and a bit, and I guess the director did too as they tried to fill things in during the credits, but still could have been done better, however as a 'middle of the road' film I can't find much else wrong with it.

8 out of 10.

Later

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

When is less not enough?

Okay, we all know less is more when describing scenes, but I fear I may be obsessing a little about it.

Case in point is the following:

Jason stands in an immaculate hotel room, lit only by the sunlight shining through a narrow gap in the curtains.

Is that fine? I could thin it down further:

Jason stands in an immaculate hotel room.

Sunlight shines through a narrow gap in the curtains.

But is this too far? The fact that sunlight is the only light source in the room isn't important, so I leave it out and break the line. I just feel that what is left is a little clinical, and I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Any tips?

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Space Virus Attacks

I have admitted defeat in my battle with the evil space virus that has been trying to break through my defences for the past week, and called in sick. The work will just have to pile up.

This could be an opportunity to write but I'm not sure I'm up to it. Maybe a page or two this afternoon from my notes and index cards. I have a deadline of the first of April to finish this draft, so I've got plenty of time.

Later

*cough* *sneeze* *urrrrrghhhhhhhh*

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)

Modern Times

I am now bringing myself up to date by blogging from my mobile.

I vow never to do anything when I'm old like call my children to come round and set the clock on my new whatsit in the livingroom.

[www.twitter.com/ukscriptwriter]

Screenplay Request

Hi,

Can anyone send me the screenplay for My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

I've looked in all the usual places (that I am aware of) online and can't seem to find it.

Thanks in advance

Chris Parr (ukscriptwriter)